Oh no she didn’t. You want me to stop, what ?

Chill out babes, no one is trying to take away your filters and your lighting.

But seriously though, selfies are deep, so, so deep. (okay maybe it’s not that deep)

This year I dropped out of uni.

I left for a number of reasons but the main of which, was that in the core of me, I knew I wasn’t supposed to be there. It sounds all very deep and mystical to some but I know myself and I knew what I needed to do.

Leaving, although being one of the most decisive decisions I think I’ve ever made, it was equally tough . I come from a family of academics and had received a place at a top UK university to study a very academic discipline ; So from school to home the push was always university focused despite never really being sure it wasn’t something I wanted to do (especially after those wonderfully oppressive a levels that I had spent two years fighting).

Since leaving I’ve been trying to sort my life out. Jobs, work experience, my next big break. It’s an exciting and interesting period but also at times very uncertain.

Now whilst this is all happening for me I look to Twitter,Facebook and Snapchat and see people that appear to have it all together. My beautiful and wonderful friends loving university, loving their subjects, the new cities, the societies, the parties, their new friends, everything, whilst I remain in beautiful woolwich having to pay £1.50 every time i get on the bus, with youngers that appear to  think they now run ends.

And sometimes this has me questioning if I made the right choice, maybe I should’ve just firmed university, maybe sometimes you have to do things you don’t like.

Despite having the deepest convictions in the first place to leave,  I begin questioning and doubting my decisions.

Why is that ? I’ll tell you why.


Selfies? Really Rasheeda?

Yes, you, selfies.

We live in an incredibly weird and wonderful time. We live in a generation where if you want me to I can see everything that happens in your life from the moment you wake up, to you not being able to sleep and preeing twitter before you finally decided to go to bed.

Likes,shares,retweets – in our faces all day and everyday.

These are all wonderful features and it is likely if you’re reading this – one of those features brought this to. But with all great things we see the potential for possible dire consequence

In a social media age there is a propensity for constant comparison and analysis of lives that have nothing to do with us. A lot of the time we discuss beauty standards and the pressures that are placed on young boys and girls but I think not often discussed is the less obvious, more emotional comparisons social media can bring.

You can be going through the worst time of your life, sad,depressed, uncertain and be constantly bombarded with images of the total opposite. Now for some, that can give some sense of hope and aspiration but for many, at times it can make us feel even worse.

We look into our phones decide what image we want the world to see, capture it and then release it. From that moment there is a tendency to look  into our phones for value and affirmation (the selfie). How many likes, how many RT’s, who thinks we are valuable, who thinks we aren’t. Now that can be physical but it can also be emotional as well. We want the world to see us as happy or that everything is going great for us but sometimes it’s just not.

Sometimes things are awful, but sometimes that’s okay, because thats your journey and its your time to learn and discover more about yourself.

I’ve learnt for myself that it’s important to sometimes switch off. We don’t need to constantly be seeing what other people are doing. Sometimes you may need to delete snapchat for a few days, even a few hours and spend some time with yourself – totally away from social media because constantly comparisons,especially when in a dark place are dangerous.

Like me, when things aren’t going great you can begin questioning yourself and questioning your decisions. But really and truly that’s all dead. SO!








Add yours →

  1. I love it girl! I had to make a similar decision myself and though many times I’m questioned by people regarding it. I had to do what was best for me. Keep doing you girl I’m constantly admiring you from a far. Put God first honey and He will direct you to what you need to do next.


  2. The straight road is rarely the most interesting one, nor the one that provides the most learning.
    You have chosen the richer, more thoughtful route and you are already learning so much this year. Go slay!


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